"Cut loose in a nightmare, cast off in my dreams
If home is anywhere that I can hang my hat
Then it's coming apart at the seams
My luck is hanging upside down
I try to hold on tight
But money's rolling out of town
And love slips right out of sight And these bones, they don't look so good to me
Jokers talk and they all disagree
One day soon, I will laugh right in the face of the poison moon You look in the mirror
I'm sorry, but it can't be replaced
You're thrown straight out in that cruel parade
Buttoned down and laced
It starts like fascination, it ends up like a trance
You've gotta use your imagination on some of that magazine romance And these bones--they don't look so good to me
Jokers talk and they all disagree
One day soon, I will laugh right in the face of the poison moon
One day soon, I will laugh right in the face of the poison moon"
By Elvis Costello
album: My aim is true
This is one of those albums that just appeared on my Ipod years ago, I think I have M@tty M@tt to thank for that one. It took me years to stumble across this album, sad since Costello is considered by many to be a father of punk. The bonus album with the demos/honkey tonk version of 'Poison Moon', and 'Blame it on Cain' rate in my 50 favorite songs. I also hope one day to sing those songs with some degree of confidence like Costello.
I am off to drop the rent a car, and bike back to my aunts.
It looks like I am heading south of the border, much love to all my fans back east, but I can't have a repeat of last winter. I have picked up a partner for my cycle tour down the Baja peninsula, and her name is Chris. I know Chris from the Baja Ha Ha, she was once a crew member of the ill fated 'Easy To Grin'. I am excited to have Chris join the team, she has minimal experience in cycling, but her passion for an epic adventure is what really matters. Wish us luck!
I am still mourning the loss of my Ipod, a real friend for almost 5 years. Boy do I miss the escape of my little black friend. I would just blast off to a place far away, just Elvis Costello, Captain Beefheart, and I. Just another possession I lost in San Jose.
I wasn't asking much Papai Noel,just a itty bitty chrome chain saw....I like this one:
Its only 15,000 grand you fat bearded bastard
Why is everyone so goo goo ga ga for Mumford and Sons? I don't get it. But then again I think Danzig is god, so forget my music taste.
tell your children not to walk my way,
tell your children not to hear my words,
what they mean, what they say.
You know what I like? Looking up lyrics for song I have know for years. Songs I have sung over and over again, and realize I royally corrupted the lyrics. My mind lyrics are better anyhow.
Another birthday has passed, it was a good one, nice and peaceful. I found myself at the hospital with my newly born second cousin, Yasdin. We have the same birthday Yasdin, but I hope to hell you have better taste in music, and less of a chemical imbalance.
I have discovered the strike-through button, look out.
I have been to a few shows here in San Diego, and they have been entertaining. I visited the West Coast Tavern on Thursday and had the privilege of hearing two musicians: Josh Damigo and Jesse LaMonaca. I have nothing but respect for performers, especially when they are playing to a crowded self involved bar. The other show worth mentioning was Los Maricones de Rock, a Rolling Stones tribute band. I have been told this band gets together once a year on Christmas eve, I was fortunate enough hear them play.
I made the trip down to the USS Midway museum, to pay a visit to a plane. Yes, a plane. My grandfather, Webster McPherson flew a SNJ on June 26, 1945 out of the USNATB Corpus Christi, TX. That same SNJ is currently on display, so I made the pilgrimage to honor a man I never knew, and to fulfill a promise to my uncle.
Oh, and you know what I hate? Poorly maintained arcade machines, especially when they are multi-cades.
So they say you can't choose your family, but you can choose whether or not to spend time with them. I am severely regretting that fact right now. The petty chatter between said family, makes my hair stand on end, and I put my hands in the universal mundra and just breathe breathe breathe....
I don't have enough gear to keep me alive, but I am about to get on my bike and just start riding....
I am back in San Diego! I arrived last night after an 17 hour drive from Mulege (Baja California Sur). I want to publicly thank the gentleman who gave me a ride, Thank You Wayne. I met Wayne through the owners of 'The Shack' in Mulege, a great shack under the highway with 10 peso draught and great food.
So I had my touring bike sent to San Diego... I have been very excited to get to this bike. I have been shopping for a touring bike for the past two years. Since Surly bikes turned down my proposal for a sponsorship earlier this year, I have been looking for the right bike for my budget. I picked up a bike for around $400 off ebay. I was so excited to see the bike, but my aunt sent me straight to bed like an excited child on Christmas eve. This morning I woke up and the first thing I wanted to see was the bike, what I saw made my spirits drop. The box was quite beat up, chunks of the box were missing, and parts of the bike had punctured the box.
So I am looking at a bent derailleur hanger, a few bents spokes, missing hardware, bent fender, and a lot of cosmetic blemishes. Ups really worked a number on the bike, but it really wasn't packed very well, so thank you American Cycles. I am waiting to hear back from the seller, hopefully something will happen, but I don't really feel like dealing with it.
The other package is my new Jetboil.... Thank you Jetboil for sending me all of this:
I also spoke to Jesse from Primal Foods, the makers of Primal Strips. Jesse is putting a team together for Primal Person travel campaign/documentary. He is also putting together a team for the Wild Canyon Games, check it out here:
Tonight I am looking at a 1966 VW Beetle to either drive east or back down to Baja California. I have been looking for a VW bus, but I think I might have to settle with a teal '66 cali bug. That or I found a cool 1922 Ford model T Rat Rod. That would be serious cool points.
I like wearing my hair down recently, I am not sure why. The blonde highlights are quite defined, telling me I have spent to much time in the sun, that and all my arm hair is blonde. Blondes really aren't my deal, I'd rather worship a dark haired women with soulful hazel eyes... the kind of eyes that make you howl at the moon.
I am about to turn another year... but I am ok with it. Last year I wasn't content, turning 25 and doing it alone. I don't know why 25 was such a dreaded accomplishment. I would joke when I was younger; I joked that I was a 25 year old model, that I would leave a young beautiful corpse. Joke. Time will tell, I still have a week.
I jacked the above image from my friends blog: http://motherswit.tumblr.com/ J, you have a way with words, I am truly jealous, but I am working on it. You are my friend and I am sorry I haven't been around for you through your dark times. You were certainly there for me last winter. Thank you.
I left San Jose Del Cabo a week and a half ago, unsure if I was making the right decision. I live my life with to much regret, I still can't recognize that the past is the past. I started walking at midnight up the highway towards San Lucas. I took the afternoon off from La Semilla to pack up my few belongings, and I went out with the only person I ever felt truly close to in San Jose. The hoochie coochie man... a 54 year old street performer with few teeth, hips like Elvis, and a heart of gold. I will miss you Roberto.
Around midnight I returned to the place I was staying.... and had to witness a woman I cared about take someone else into her bed. A bed I spent more then a few nights in, one that I hoped I would share one last night. I tried to sit and read, but really that was just a cover up. You walked by me, not saying a word, but so much was bouncing back and forth between us.
I watched as you went to your room.
I waited for his return.
He sat across from me and had a smoke,
I shook his hand at the end
His eyes full of innocence and love
Mine full of the most remote saddness
I watched as he walked to your room
I heard the sound of the doors closing,
one after the other
I watched as you closed the curtains
Do you know how that felt?
these feelings wont go away...
The desert is good medicine, as that night I went to a very dark place. I walked for hours, lost in deepest tar pit of hatred and self loathing. Simply put, I can't keep taking hits like this, I am just simply too involved. I wish I could go back to my mind eye at age 19, I need that right now.
The other night I had a breakdown of character... it was late and I stumbled on an old link to someones photo account. Why I clicked on it, I don't know why, maybe I am a masochist. Next photo, next photo. It won't happen again... I wish I could restrict who has access to my blog. But that is what happens when you have a public blog...words are easily read. I know you are reading this right now, you know what the difference between you and I is? I am discovering what it is to fight this alone for well over a year, and you are not. Does he know you send text messages to me? I am afraid not, but sometimes I ponder how he would feel if I told him the truth.
Mulege. I am in the town of Mulege. I am couch surfing with a 70 year old man who I believe has turrets, which is truly entertaining. He is so kind, and truly has the greatest laugh. I noticed that I need to get out of Baja for a little while, it to much of a party. Where is the intellectual exploration? Its just like JC said about San Jose, but it seems to involve most of Baja.
So I am hitch hiking my way up to San Diego. Time spent in La Paz and Cerritos was fun, all good stories for the book, but I need to get my bike.
"Here was the plot: a flying saucer creature named Zog arrived on Earth to explain how wars could be prevented and how cancer could be cured. He brought the information from Margo, a planet where the natives conversed by means of farting and tap dancing.
Zog landed at night in Connecticut. He had no sooner touched down than he saw a house on fire. He rushed into the house, farting and tap dancing, warning the people about the terrible danger they were in. The head of the house brained Zog with a golf club."
I read that today on a hill overlooking San Jose del Cabo, and it brought warmth to my heart. Breakfast of Champions by Kurt Vonnegut is one of my all time favorites, and conversely the first book I had read by Vonnegut.
I am heading out of Baja... and I have mixed feelings about it. The weather is great, and the community is amazing for the most part. I think more then anything, I need my own place to be myself. I am living at Raices y Brazos, and though it is amazing, I feel awkard a majority of the time. I feel like most people are so open, and ready to be social. I feel the opposite, I just want my time to write, read, sleep, meditate, and so on without interruption. I do know of a squat in town, its being occupied by a street performer friend of mine, the Hoochie Coochie Man. I am going to check it out tonight.
My plans are to ride the touring bike (not a motorcycle) back east from San Diego, or buy an old VW bus/Baja bug and drive east, stopping and seeing friends along the way. I could just as easily ride from San Diego to Baja. I have a lot of farting and tap dancing going on in my head. :)
Type 2 detectives vw van, photo by Jonathan Mold
I want to give a HUGE shout out to JetBoil, the manufactures of you guessed it: The Jetboil stove. Here's the scope, if you have been reading my blog, as I know you haven't. I lost most of my hiking gear in a boat wreck a few weeks ago. I was really attached to my gear, especially the stove, as it had been with me for 5 years. I contacted Jetboil customer service after spending an hour or two typing up an email, explaining how much I loved there stove, and in the end its watery grave. Well, A rep named Whitney is sending me all the pieces to put my humpty dumpty stove back together, which is 90% of a new stove. I have nothing but good things to say about Jetboil, I will never own another stove. Take that you ultralight facists!