Monday, October 24, 2011

Its raining in Baltimore...

So I have been back in Maryland for a few weeks now, and as always it has been a trying time. I came home with hopes of a 'soft' entry back into my 'life'. It did not happen.

Mold, everything covered in fucking mold. Where shall I start? Well, I go into the room/storage unit at my parents house and my bed, clothes, books, bike, camping gear, the few things that hold worth in my life, covered in mold. Why? While I was away, I had someone offer to buy my arcade game collection, and in this economy I jumped. I had my father show them the machines, but they had to remove a sliding door to get RoboCop out. It is a fairly simple procedure, gorilla grab the door, lift up, removed door. The fucking apes were able to do that much (including my father), but the funny thing about putting it back on... come in close, this is a valuable secret. IT IS THE REVERSE OF REMOVAL. Who would have thought? So they just left the door off, and being a wet year the concrete in the garage made it a very moist environment.


So onto the car, my Subaru, my daily driver. It stopped running several weeks before my return. My father didn't know how to fix it, as he has only been working in the car business for 35 years. I told him to leave it, so he leaves his McDonalds cup of coffee, and one of the windows down at some point, but doesn't dry it out. Leave those doors shut for a few weeks and what do we have class? Anyone, that's right more fucking mold. And all this because my incompetent mechanic (Beware: Carmel Auto on Harford Road) didn't put my ground cable on the starter, in fact they didn't put the bracket that the ground cable connects to back on either).

It has been raining quite a bit here in Baltimore, loving it. I have been considering getting the touring bike together and just riding south, I am not sure I am ready for the cold. Which leads to why I decided to write a blog entry:

Today is the one year anniversary of the Ha Ha.  Time is just passing by, I am not sure where it all went.

Easy to Grin.. Rest in peace, thanks for a great adventure. Actually thanks to the whole crew:

The Captain (I still have that rainbow sail tie by the way)
Our most experience member, and such a lovable (but strangely Homophobic) Douchebag
 And who could forget Jessica!

It had hopes of being on the Ha Ha this year, but it didn't happen. Its such a duality, wanting to travel, but really needing stability and time to myself. I have not been motivated to write, which is obvious from my blog. But it is my hopes to stay on top of the things over the next few week. But do excuse me, I have a date with some mold and some tea tree oil. Dirty Dirty Mold, spank it. 

Black mold- fuck ebay!

Tuesday, September 6, 2011


It's just not the same when your day hiking, this I have realized. You can just run away when things get uncomfortable.

But that doesn't mean you should.

Unless the mosquitoes do not let you out of your tent:

I wish that video gave you some idea how bad the mosquitoes were in the Glen Pinchot national forest. We were camped under the breath-taking Mt. Adams, but we were unable to leave the tent, as we did not come armed with Deet, or long pants (BOY put on your pants!).

Or the tent fly, as Princess Moonburn lived up to his name, and needed some protection from the sun. Sorry for the poor quality video, but he jumped the gun, but never the less, I hope you enjoyed him running around like a ninny. Here is what he looks like with a bug net and a truckers cap:

And here is what the bugs did to his neck:

To finish off this wonderful (and rare) blog entry, this is how you get your water bottle when you have:
  1. Trekking Pole
  2. Bug Net (keep an eye on his hand)
  3. Motivation
  4. No booze or grappling hook

So what does a sane person do? Certainly not get in the car, drive 4.5 hours back to White Pass, and hike the same section again... even better lets stay up to 2am writing a blog that no one will read (except you Uncle Corkey), I will see you in a few weeks. If I never write this, because I do hate it. FML for realzies.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Broken Spoke


They haven't been flowing...I feel as though they never have. To add to that fact, my last few blog entries have been brief and uneventful. No ham sandwich for you.

I am struggling, no lie about that. I am sitting at a cowboy bar in Austin Texas, in a pink Veggie Heaven t-shirt and Choco sandals. My Choco tan is coming along well by the way.

I feel as though I should just drink another 10 of this watery Lone Star draughts out of my plastic dixie cups, and find me a lady to dance with. But once again, lets be honest, I am not a dancer or a writer. Alone I sit.

I just flew (and broke my no fly rule) to join Dani (yes, she is a girl) to buy a Mazda convertible (sight unseen) and drive it 3,000+ miles around the country. Well, here is where the romantic part turns to shit. The girl who was the previous owner treated the car like a demolition derby machine. The car hardly has a straight body panel, and it has hail damage to boot. 

I tried to get the car aligned on tuesday, only to find out that she ran it on a curb, pole, or the full church choir. Either way the steering wheel is 90 degrees out and the steering rack mounts are torn off. Which means I have to spend $600 to replace the subframe. Goodtimes. Still romantic? How about replacing all the filters, plugs, wires, leaking valve cover gasket, and not least, the entire convertible top. I was hoping to sell this car for a profit at the end of this trip, but that is very unlikely.

So when you are considering a car for a road trip, you think, comfort, space, good stereo, and gas mileage (just to name a few). For those who followed my last road trip, you should know my beloved Kingsley. Well, that Mercedes was spacious. I had the trunk, back seat, and even the 16 cubic foot cargo box full of gear (aka shit). So the Miata has about a 2 cubic foot rear trunk, and my backpack will barely fit in, so I came up with this.

I am not feeling very excited about this road trip... and I can't really understand why. I feel burnt out, used up, no deposit, no return. I am putting all my day hours tracking parts and calling mechanic shops. I haven't seen much of Austin at all, and its hotter Georgia Asphalt in this godforsaken state. Consistent 102-105 degrees temps.

And Dani and I just got booted from our place, the landlord didn't like that we were crashing Sam and Kady floor for a week. So uptight. Speaking of which have you seen the Rejected Cartoons:


This shit made my day... My spoon is TOO BIG! Sorry Y'all for the bitching. But a day in Texas is better then any day at work. Till I get a jerb, I will see you on the road.

-Linus Cloudbuster

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Ruta Maya

So I have been in Austin for four day now, and what do I have to say? I am in a coffee shop/bar/dance studio called Ruta Maya. I was finally feeling motivated to complete a blog entry, and then the music started, and a diverse group of people decided to flash mob my quiet typing area. Mamba!!!

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

It starts in Texas with this...

A $700 unloved, hail damaged, no softop 1994 Mazda Miata. Lets see how far we can make it.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Where I have been

In Maryland of course. I can't believe I haven't posted a entry in a month. Well, I have been busy.... don't give me lip boy... When was the last time you took a year off your life, and then come back to clean up the pieces?

Well that is what I have been up to. I came back to a bunch of projects and a room at my parents house that had become a storage unit. Packages of hiking gear in boxes, time capsules I call them.

I have been getting back into the hustle, selling off all the junk I accumulated before I left. Its tax season, so people have been buying... but there are always set backs. I blew the transmission in my Subaru, which is going to be an expensive fix, but I have really given that car hell. Right now its a lawn ornament at my rents house. They love me so.

So I am getting together with my friend Toothpick in about two weeks to hike the Grayson Highlands into Trail Days (Damascus, VA). It will be good to see faces from the past, I am really looking forward to it.

Hmm, what else to say? I have working most of the night trying to repair my Iphone that I submerged in a puddle. The backlight is not working... I just can't own nice things. I did just get my camera back from Olympus, and boy is it pretty again. It was really looking ratty after a year of traveling: dents, scratches, and for some reason it smelled of urine.

Anyhow, I must get to sleep, but if your up and reading this:


Listen to Jesse Lamonaca Podcast at Dirty Boulevard Recording Company

Monday, March 21, 2011

Hey Yall,

So Paul, Dani, and I left Austin this morning. Paul and I are wearing our new Veggie Heaven t-shirts, his is pastel purple and mine is pink. So we are driving Kingsley through rural texas, and I already heard a 'fucking hippie' muttered from a shitkickin' gentleman. We are heading for Lousiana, wish us luck!

Monday, March 14, 2011

We are Texas!

I apologize for the lack of updates, but it has been a weird couple of weeks. I have been trying to juggle an overwhelming social life, repairing Kingsley for the road-trip, and my sanity.

So many stories, especially the friday night trip to Tijuana to see Nortec Collective.

It Has Begun! After a year, I head back to the Right Coast
Rosey, Yours Truly, Dani (And Kingsley in the blue)

So after a stressful few days of losing my debit card, alignments, buying bent rims, and all the other maintenance necessary to get Kingsley (My chinablue Mercedes) on the road. We left San Diego around 5pm heading for Tuscon Arizona.

The hills east of San Diego toward El Centro were slowing us down quite a bit. It doesn't help that we are driving a 30 year old non-turbo Mercedes, with a huge cargo box/bike on top, three souls, and enough gear to supply an excursion on Everest. Seriously Rosey and Dani, the car is on the bumpstops!

So we left Tucson this morning after staying with Ben, Roseys friend who had a nice hotel room at the Embassy Suites, thanks again Ben. A slow windy drive through the desert netted an attempted side trip to White Sands National Monument, but we turned around half way :(  We were not going to make it before the monument closed. Some other day. We did get the most amazing sunset though.
So as we entered El Paso, we noticed the signs for Dick Poe. Dick Poe is an old friend of ours, a great place to buy a car. You have a friend in Dick Poe! Almost as good as Koons Cheverolet in Maryland. Seriously who comes up with these names?

Or better yet, Buds Beer Barn. Apparently they had a dozen copies of Dune on the shelf.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Friday, February 25, 2011

Just another day

Back to the American I went to Costco...tomorrow I blow my brains out :)

Seriously though, going to Walmart or Costco, or any of these mega consumer institutions fill me with such great anxiety. I have to act like a complete screw loose to survive it. But we went home with our toilet paper from unsustainable sources, and poor tasting, but none the less cheap hummus.

God save the queen

Anyhow, Danzig, DaNzig, DANZIG.  That is all, if you ain't listened to Danzig.

On a side note...Eat a dick Adobe.

Friday, February 18, 2011


My friend just asked me how it felt to be done biking...I was about to answer that it was good, some time to reflect and relax. I have been feeling a bit ragged since I pushed 300 miles in 3 days....Instead I answered that I am not finished cycling, hiking, or traveling. This portion of the trip is coming to a close, but I still have many adventures ahead of me.

 So the next adventure is getting back to San Diego. I have a potential rideshare north from Cabo to SD. Unfortunately the driver wants to leave on Monday morning, which gives me only 2 days in San Jose... This might be a good thing because Del Cabo is a vortex. But my friend Robert is supposed to teach me the harmonica, he really liked the set I brought down for him :)

 I will be driving back east in Kingsley, my veggie oil converted Mercedes.

My friend Rosey, the talented blogger of SDDialedIn wants to make the trip to Austin Texas for the South by South West music festival/conference.
So I have some work to do on Kingsley 'Squishey Bang' Zissou. I need to get rid of the bang part of his title, which is a driveshaft issue. Hopefully my friends at Petroworks Offroad in Fallbrook, CA will let me use the shop and tools to get Kingsley up for the 3,000 mile trip. 

So the list:
-Fix Driveshaft
-Find a set of white walls tires

-Find a roof rack/cargo box for my bicycle
-Locate more WVO (waste veggie oil) for the trip), I found this site called Fill up for 4 Free

And for the Life Aquatic theme:
-Tint the windows (and leave untinted portholes on each window)
-More red beanies/blue track suits

-Zissou Decals for the doors
-Mini flags on the front fenders
-Get my red velvet Jesus bank sent in, je'sus always rides shotgun

Thursday, February 17, 2011

So close..

1,015 miles on the bike computer, and I am in Cabo San Lucas! I am staying with a friend, eating stir fry and taking it easy. Tomorrow I bike east to San Jose del Cabo for the finish line. So close...

Monday, February 14, 2011

Got my 100 :) and now I sleep. Sweet dreams y'all.

Nima aka Linus Cloudbuster
Hey All,

I am sore! The good kind of sore, the muscles thoroughly worked kinda sore. I reunited with my bicycle on friday night after a great day of hitching. I caught a single ride from El Rosario to Mulege. I rode in a beat up Ford Escort which was being flat towed behind a truck.

It was like having auto pilot, while I sat back and read Dune. I did however forget my fresh peanut butter and bike jersery. Hot mess I am.

So saturday I hit the road after staying with Gary on El Coyote playa. Thank you Gary, and sorry for the drama.

I put in my longest day, 85 miles, and it felt great. Going solo has been such a freeing experience. I had a great dinner with an investigative journalist on Juncalito beach, and in the morning I pedaled over to Puerto Econdido to check out the boats. I ended up running into a group from the Green Bay area, and we had a great breakfast and conversations. Thanks again yall, hope to see you again soon. Anyhow my damned memory card is on the fritz and I lost all my photos from the last two days :(

I biked from Loreto to Insurgentes yesterday through the 'Sierra Grande' which was challenging, and was met with headwinds for 30 miles. Did i mention this was fun? I luckily met some folks and they put me up in there restaurant, because it gets close to freezing down here, and I don't have a tent anymore. I was woken at 5:15am by the cooks. So i type this as I sit on the throne... Do you feel dirty for reading this now? :)

I attempt a 145 mile day into La Paz, wish me luck

Thursday, February 10, 2011

A good day

Sorry for the lack of updates, but things have been a bit chaotic. Let me give you the short of it. I am in Rosario in Baja California Norte, why am I back in the norte? Because I did something a bit out of character, and went back to San Diego for less then 24 hours. I needed to get some supplies for the bike, and most importantly to see my friend Dani. She flew out yesterday to Hawaii, and other destinations unknown (I hope India or south east Asia). I jumped on a bus after my cycling partner Chris decided it best to part ways at Coyote beach south of Mulege BCS.
The bus ride north was expensive and long, the bus broke down in San Vincente. I awoke at 3 am to the sound of a diesel engine, and the sounds of metal hammering metal. The driver and his associate were banging on something in the rear of the bus, with the engine compartment door open, letting all the noise and fumes throughout the cabin.

Well, instead of getting into Tijuana at 6am, I got into Tijuana at 12pm Mexican time :)

I was pretty bummed, because I barely had enough time to get my supplies, as I only intended to be in town for 24 hours. So I didn't get a new memory card, and my current card likes to eat photos and spit them out as a big fat X. I also didn't get the chance to see anyone that I miss dearly, so sorry I didn't call yall, but I couldn't be distracted from my mission. Bike the damn Baja! No quitters here.

So I had a great time in SD, but it was very hectic. I walked across the TJ border late on Wednesday praying to Ganesha, the remover of obstacles.
I was so unsure of what to do once I was in TJ, it is not a good place to be at night, especially if you stick out like a sore thumb like I did. I just trusted that things would work out, if not I was going to retreat to San Diego and stay with a friend. Anyhow as soon as I was over the border, I ran into a Mexican who told me that I could get a bus into downtown. From the downtown I could either look for a trucker at the market, or catch a taxi to Rosario where the M-1 and the 1-D meet. So I ended up in El Rosario via taxi, and spent several hours trying to get rides. I was having very little luck, and was growing very disheartened. I just wasn't in the head space for the bi-polar feelings that come with hitch-hiking.

However, I did run into a guy at the Pemex gas station, who recommended another gas station that was down the road a few miles. He was so kind and sympathetic, I was walking away when he pulled up and gave me 20 pesos. I told him I couldn't accept, as I didn't need it. Granted I don't have much money, and the adventure north to SD cost me about $300, but I still have money in my account. I was just hitching to save money for my road trip back east, or whatever else wants to take my hard earned dollars down the road. So he told me to take the money, and to help someone else down the road. I accepted: As they say on the trail, Pay it Forward.

I did pay it forward, I met a guy who was digging through the trash at the gas station. I was asking people for rides, and this young guy whos father I had asked for a ride with, came over and asked me why I was in the cold at 9pm at night. I told him I was trying to get to Ensenada, where I was going to crash on a friends couch. He said he wasn't heading that way, but he offered me a Fanta, and some more money. I once again declined the money, but accepted the can of pop. The guy was digging through the trash when I returned, and I started talking to him, his English wasn't bad. He found some coffee that someone had left on the table,a nice table dive, but no food. I started to make myself a peanut butter and Bavarian bread sandwich, and he asked if he could have one. So I made him a big heaping PB sandwich, and he really enjoyed it. I then thought about the money I was given to pay forward, so I gave it to him. Thinking back on it, I wish I had just bought him some food, as I am unsure what he would have used the money on. :(

I ended up getting a ride to Ensenada from some college guys who drove way to fast. My shoes really smell, I shouldn't have used them without socks. Good way to ruin a pair of beautiful  Brooks trail runners. I just bought some foot powder, hopefully that will help with the funk

Or maybe its Jazz baby.... Check out Rob Longstaff... Much love Rob

Anyhow, I got to Ensenada crashed on my couch surfing friends.. you guessed it couch. Thank you Adrianna and Marion for putting me up late notice.

I awoke rested, had my grapefruit and a cup of green tea, and chatted with Marion about this, that, and the importance of honesty with those you love. Not easy to find. I started walking to the bus, and just had a sense of joy about my hitching adventure, which wasn't present before. The sun was shining, and the birds were singing, and so was I. I think it was the Black Keys, tighten up. 

It took me almost two hours, but I got a ride, and it was on of the best I have had. I got a ride from a couple (Maria y Robert) in a pickup called 'tortilleria' or something along those lines. I don't think I will ever learn Spanish with how fast people talk down here. They make a journey 110 miles south to San Quintin every Thursday to sell there home made cheese. There family of 5 children make the cheese and sell it locally in Ensenada, but once a week they deliver south to local businesses. When I first got the ride, I was so happy, as I thought the place I was hitching was hopeless. Yet this couple slowed down from 60mph and picked me up.

When they pulled over, I could see that there was little space in the cab. So jumped in the bed, which had several coolers. I wedged my legs in the coolers and then gave the side a few thumps to let them know I was good to go. It was very uncomfortable... but I couldn't sit against the tailgate because it didn't exist. 

So was a foot or two of the floor where the tailgate once existed. So I did my best to keep my foot wedged, keep my head out of the wind, and hold the side of the bed. Well, I felt a bit wobbly as we went down the road, and kept adjusting myself, but something didn't feel right. I then noticed it wasnt me that was swaying, but the side of the truck. 

Have you ever taken a piece of thin metal, and worked it back and forth until you have created a seam? When you continue to work said seam, it gets more and more flimsy, until the metal tears, snaps in two. Thats what the side of the truck was doing. Needless to say, I made my move into the cab between my two large friends :)

They were the nicest people I have met in Mexico, seriously, we had the greatest adventure. It was a slow ride with all the queso stops, but I know have some new friends in Ensenada. They told me I must stay with them on the way north to San Diego, or they will be very upset :)

Does anyone have a contact in the US immigration/embassy? Maria is trying to see her mother in Riverside, CA who had a stroke in October. Her mother is on her deathbed, and she can't get a visa to visit and say goodbye :( 

Breaks my heart, fuck the borders.