Recovery

So I just spent three days typing away, uploading pictures, and it was posted for about an hour. I went back to edit, fix a few spelling mistakes, and add the word Existential Crisis at the bottom.

Then it went away suddenly, and blogspot auto saved. Maybe it was a great blog entry, maybe it was just a terrible rant. I wanted to punch blogspot in the face, but I realized that it was just another loss.

Here is the short and skinny, I was out in California on another adventure: festival going, cycling the coast, hiking, and of course women chasing.

But it all came to an end last Friday when someone stole my touring bike, camping gear, clothing, camera, all of it. Well, minus my phone, a small backpack, a shirt and kilt. I wasn't angry, mostly sad, but felt empty and betrayed. Mostly because this happened two years ago when a sailing vessel I was on went down and along with it most of my personal possessions.

The previous entry was mostly about the guilt I felt about letting down my friends, every piece of gear in those bike panniers was intentional. Many had been with me for years of backpacking, keeping me alive from the elements. I feel so much regret for not being able to protect them from some faceless thief.

I feel guilty because I am healthy, I can acquire a new bicycle, another backpack. But I am heartbroken, those possessions and I had history. Nothing is permanent, but I had hoped we had more time.

So I have been having an existenial crisis, was it as simple as bad luck matched with some bad decision making?

Or was there a lesson to be learned two years ago that I did not catch, or did Professor TakeYourShit decide I need a refresher course on impermanence?

Well, here are some fucking pictures if that is all you were looking for >:o